Raisin Bran: A "How To" Guide to Marshmallow Cereal

Does your wife object to Captain Crunch and other fun cereals, even when they're on sale?

In our house, I do the grocery shopping because my wife has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from past grocery trips with the children. I'm not sure what happened, but whenever the subject of grocery shopping comes up she can usually be found under the dining room table in the fetal position, and in between sobs I’m pretty sure she’s mumbling something about wine bottles.

Anyway, I try to explain to her that if you go grocery shopping with a plan it's actually pretty easy to manage the children. I once took all four girls to the store without a plan; when I got out of traction, I vowed never to do that again. Those girls are cute…but deadly. So, I don’t really blame my wife.

Where was I? Oh yeah...

While I do the shopping, I recognize that the only shopping software I have installed is Grocery Bachelor ’95. It’s a bit outdated, and I never got the service pack upgrade either, so if left to my own devices the closest thing to a vegetable that would ever reach our pantry is microwave popcorn. Consequently, when shopping for food, I’m always on the line with Tech Support (that’s my wife) to make sure I don’t stray too far from the list, go crazy over budget, or get brands that are unacceptable.

Whenever I come to the cereal aisle, the kids want nifty stuff, but mom shuns everything with “no nutritional value.” Now, we have to have breakfast cereal, otherwise every morning is a major production trying to get food on the table for our ever growing family (and we need those eggs and sausage for dinner, but that’s another story). So, I look across the limited selection of bland, expensive alternatives and settle on the cheapest cereal without cardboard listed as an ingredient.

Now, it’s hard to find a box of cereal that’s healthy, inexpensive, and has enough flavor to tempt you to break the fast, so when I see a sale on something decent, I stock up...

…and I try to mix it up when I can.


Finally, after weeks and weeks of the Raisin Bran genre of breakfast cereal…she broke. Where as normally I argue, I bargain, I finagle, I whine (that’s just between us)…all to no avail. Apparently, you get enough Raisin Bran in her and all it takes is, “Hey look, these are on sale.”

She stocked up…

…and I mix it up...

…when I can.